Today, I have spread my yoga mat here on the bare floorboards in this corner of the living room near where Larry has left several cardboard boxes of capacitors. O.K., so we imagine this inner central thing, whatever it is, to be a glowing coal, and every time we breathe in our breath causes the coal to glow more brightly, and when we exhale our whole being and the entire universe itself is gently warmed by this coal! Let’s hold that image in our minds. well, the hell with what the name is, it means-not the soul, exactly it’s this kind of vague center area. Oh, hell, I’ve forgotten what it’s called. Now, inside every one of us is a center that contains the essence of everything we are. Empty out the mind, because today I want to talk about inner and outer serenity, and not the ridiculous nonsense with the pre-K fund-raiser, which for some stupid reason I can’t stop thinking about. Now, why did I bring that up? That woman was exactly what I was trying not to think about, when I was trying to not think about stuff before! All right, fine-let’s set aside the awful fund-raiser, and all petty thoughts in general, and just take a moment to breathe. I think we have all been there-haven’t we? These lapses are more the exception than the rule, and come up unexpectedly, as happened, for example, last night, when I was hosting that potluck benefit for the pre-K program and running myself ragged with all the fucking casseroles people had brought, and that horrible woman with the needlepoint oven mitts said to me, in her extremely snotty voice, “Are all the trivets spoken for?,” and I fucking wanted to. As the Cursing Mommy, I usually try to maintain an unbroken inner and outer serenity, except for those brief lapses when I yell curses and obscenities, give people the finger, hurl unsatisfactory purchases directly from the shopping bag into the trash, stamp my feet at the cats, and so on. I will not-Įxcuse me, I’m the Cursing Mommy, and I want to apologize for that small outburst, which perhaps some of you can sympathize with. No! No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! NO! NO! I do NOT want to think about that! Uh-uh! No fucking WAY! I absolutely fucking REFUSE to think about that! Nope.
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